eBay bully
The past few weeks, Lori has become an aggressive eBayer. While both of us have casually dabbled in the online auction mecca over the past few years, Lori has recently invested herself in the pursuit of various and sundry treasures with a kind of megalomaniacal fervor. This week, while bidding on something, she actually set our cooking timer to go off mid-dinner so she could go defend her winning bid.
Can you say "compulsion"?
A few weeks back, Lori learned that people were selling Legoland admission coupons on eBay. With our upcoming trip there on the horizon, Lori set to a few days of intense bidding.
I came home one night to a jubilant wife. Lori was pumped up, celebrating her recent eBay win. She feverishly recounted her bidding strategy, talking about baiting her final foe and then promptly vanquishing them with a last second raise that sealed the deal.
The conversation went something like this (with her role best played back at double speed):
Lori: I won the Legoland coupons today. I'm so excited!
Me: That's great, honey.
Lori: Yeah, I watched the price all day until it was down to just one person and me.
Me: Mmm hmm.
Lori: The clock just kept ticking down. It got down to just one person and me. And we kept going back and forth.
Me: *drinking water*
Lori: And then it got down to like 10 minutes, and I just held back.
Me: *blink*
Lori: And then, right at the last second, I upped my bid and I won! It was so great!
Me: Good job.
Lori: It was awesome. And now we'll save all that money on tickets! They should be here in a week. It was so exciting!
Me: Sounds like it.
Lori: I can see how people get addicted to bidding on eBay. What a rush!
Me: *blink, blink*
Lori: (slower) The only thing was...the person I outbid...was named "2AutisticBoys". Sooo, I felt kinda bad.
Me: *choking on icewater, laughing*
Lori: Yeah.
All I could imagine was Lori, standing in cyberspace, watching a quiet, unassuming mother from Topeka walking back from the virtual ticket counter with her prized Legoland tickets in hand, smiling at her newfound good fortune. Now her boys would have something to look forward to.
Lori walks up, snatches the tickets from the mother's hands and says, "Nice tickets" *shove* "Now, get your own!" Mwaa haa haa!
Hey, we're talking Legoland discount tickets. Whatever it takes, man. Whatever it takes.
Can you say "compulsion"?
A few weeks back, Lori learned that people were selling Legoland admission coupons on eBay. With our upcoming trip there on the horizon, Lori set to a few days of intense bidding.
I came home one night to a jubilant wife. Lori was pumped up, celebrating her recent eBay win. She feverishly recounted her bidding strategy, talking about baiting her final foe and then promptly vanquishing them with a last second raise that sealed the deal.
The conversation went something like this (with her role best played back at double speed):
Lori: I won the Legoland coupons today. I'm so excited!
Me: That's great, honey.
Lori: Yeah, I watched the price all day until it was down to just one person and me.
Me: Mmm hmm.
Lori: The clock just kept ticking down. It got down to just one person and me. And we kept going back and forth.
Me: *drinking water*
Lori: And then it got down to like 10 minutes, and I just held back.
Me: *blink*
Lori: And then, right at the last second, I upped my bid and I won! It was so great!
Me: Good job.
Lori: It was awesome. And now we'll save all that money on tickets! They should be here in a week. It was so exciting!
Me: Sounds like it.
Lori: I can see how people get addicted to bidding on eBay. What a rush!
Me: *blink, blink*
Lori: (slower) The only thing was...the person I outbid...was named "2AutisticBoys". Sooo, I felt kinda bad.
Me: *choking on icewater, laughing*
Lori: Yeah.
All I could imagine was Lori, standing in cyberspace, watching a quiet, unassuming mother from Topeka walking back from the virtual ticket counter with her prized Legoland tickets in hand, smiling at her newfound good fortune. Now her boys would have something to look forward to.
Lori walks up, snatches the tickets from the mother's hands and says, "Nice tickets" *shove* "Now, get your own!" Mwaa haa haa!
Hey, we're talking Legoland discount tickets. Whatever it takes, man. Whatever it takes.
posted by JabberDrew at 9:57 PM
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