Estate getting real

Greetings, my friends. Taking a brief moment to reconnect with you after long weeks of my sole connection being to our agency software. Actually, tonight I'm wrapping some brainstorming and research on a new company name we've been working on. I hope to share it with you soon.

Tonight's topic? Real estate. Over the past few weeks, Lori and I have begun getting serious about house buying. We're in the process of getting pre-approved and have recruited an agent to the cause. Last weekend, inspired by a $150,000 price reduction, we revisited a new home community we first toured last summer. The timing's still not right for a few reasons, but when our preferred model and lot come available, we may be ready to go. We're exploring other options and are not dead set on that particular home yet, but it definitely has its allure.

The bottom line is that we're definitely in the realm of committed action now. More than the daydreaming of years past, we're into full-on plotting. Synchronized scheming. The reality of finally paying off The Loan still continues to crystallize daily. Today was kind of interesting, because someone asked me how much the original loan was and, for the first time ever, I couldn't remember what the principal amount was. It took me about 30 seconds to remember that albatross-like figure--a fact I find telling that it's dropping from my consciousness.

The person I had that discussion with was my accountant. Which leads to part deux of this entry...

Not so fast, boy. You sure got a pretty mouth.

I've been fearing this year's taxes greatly. And, in a broader sense, fearing the revelation foretold for decades: that the more you succeed, the more you're punished. Binary Pulse's 2006 was its best year ever. Something I'm immensely proud of. I also paid off The Loan. Something else I'm immensely proud of.

I'm also about to get sodomized by Uncle Sam.

Lori and I have been squirreling away as much money as possible in order to amass a reasonable down payment toward a home. We've been doing a decent job, but this year's tax bill has always been looming on the horizon. I've continued to forgo too much anticipation about buying this year until I assessed the tax damage.

In year's past, we managed to get by on taxes pretty painlessly (if we succumb to the numbing amnesia of forgetting all the money taken out DURING the year). Many years, in fact, we got refunds. I think the most I've ever had to pay out was $6 or $7 thousand between state and Feds. Not fun, but that's a friggin' walk in the park compared to this year's sentence. I knew going into it that the success of last year AND the fact that, by paying off The Loan, we also lost that sheltering interest write-off, was going to combine to leave me as vulnerable as a naked eunuch standing in a dark forest full of highwaymen. But I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition.

I don't really want to share the damage specifically, but let's just say the amount has five digits and rhymes with mirty-mine-mousand mollars. The polite tax-time chat of the previous ninety minutes ended abruptly when I was given the estimated payment. "Holy shit!" spilled reflexively from my tongue like so much offal from a disemboweled deer.

I've been told since I was 14 or 15 that "someday" I would learn about the atrocities of the U.S. tax system. About the inherently nonsensical, counter-intuitive rationale that underlies progressive taxation. Well, the lesson hit me today with the cold indifference of a slap across the face. And a stomp on the foot. And a speedbag of the scrotum.

You get the picture.

Since we're filing an extension to coincide with the extension on our corporate filing, I have some time to figure out the impact of this on our down payment nest egg. I hope to mitigate the damage as much as possible and continue our momentum toward house purchase. With all the subprime loan market fallout just starting to rain down, I think this fall/winter will present some opportunities worth waiting for anyway.

According to the accountant, we really need to buy a house soon in order to get that tax shelter. But it's a strange equation that just leaves me feeling off kilter: I make a lot of money so I can pay a lot to the government. And then, to prevent myself from paying a lot of money to the government, I need to pay a lot of money toward a mortgage. In order to pay that mortgage, I need to make more money. Which means I have to pay more to the government. Of course, paying money toward a mortgage to keep from paying a lot to the government includes a reasonable amount of paying more to the government (aka property taxes.)

And I thought I was already running full speed in the rat race. It seems I've only had it in second gear.

But, yes, the attraction of a new home is as bright and candy-shiny as ever. I look forward to making it work but, by no means, will allow us to get in over our heads. I'm fully in touch with that reality and will not live beyond our means. We're looking for a comfortable, modest house (by O.C standards) with a practical loan (featuring a 0% harebrain rate). Probably about 2800 square feet, four bedrooms and a wood shed out back behind which the taxman can take me regularly.

Brace face

I have a daughter in braces.

I emailed Tim earlier today upon seeing this picture, indicating that I needed to get home before bedtime in order to visit with Syd after this momentous event. I told him I suddenly felt like I was fifty years old.

He replied, "Are those car keys on the stairs? Is she driving now?"

To which I replied, "Yeah, she's meeting me at the high school for graduation at 7:00."

Jane, stop this crazy thing! Jaaaaaaaannnnee!!!

Kitty litter

For the record, yes, I'm pissed off that the Cats took a dump in the first round of March Madness. Actually, pissed implies that I had an expectation that they might actually win. After a 12-1 start that had me predicting a national championship, the team totally imploded. Too shallow of a bench, too many tired bodies, and no true leadership, is my guess.

At least the long slide gave me time to go numb and deaden the inevitable pain.

While they have a great recruiting class again next year, they're going to need a really exceptional season (and post-season) to stem the swelling tide of speculation that Lute is beginning his ride into the sunset. It's the inevitability no true Wildcat wants to discuss, but it's out there.

Bleh.

Youthanasia

If you have children and find yourself inclined to:
- give your kids marijuana
- drown your four year-old in a bathtub full of water and urine
- have oral sex with five year olds
I think you should be
- spayed or neutered
- buried alive
- put to sleep

Don't take your miserable lives out on helpless children. You make me sick and I wish nothing but torment and humiliation upon you.

And for the love of God, do not breed. Kids should not have kids.

I just can't stand reading about this crap anymore. Why can't childhood be a sacred, pure, wondrous thing? Makes you pray there's something better than this existence sometimes.

A billion ducks in the biggest row

You remember the day before the big test or the night before the big essay was due and you were facing down an all-nighter? And rather than jump headfirst into the books, you chose to clean your apartment first? Or organize your CDs? Or count toothpicks? Whatever form your compulsion may have took, it's pretty common to find some excuse to get organized before you take on a cumbersome task.

Some recent business advice I read -- an article about meditation -- actually espoused the virtues of cleaning your office as a way to deal with stress.

Well, I am in perhaps one of the biggest organizational tasks of my professional career. I feel like mentioning this because it's definitely been the cause of my sporadic blogging and significant delay in updating the pictures on OCMehls. (I now have Syd's 9th b-day and this weekend's opening day of softball for the girls to get posted.)

What has me so consumed? Last fall, we heeded sage advice from our agency network chief and bought new agency management software that stands to revolutionize our business. He suggested that our dated version of Clients & Profits was doing us more harm than good. C&P currently manages our job traffic and is supposed to do much more. But years ago, when Mac OSX came out, it effectively ceased working. We've been performing all sorts of maneuvers and workarounds to compensate for its failures and, in the meantime, missing out on all kinds of opportunities to streamline our processes.

As it turns out, the company that makes C&P has, as those in the know intimate, given up on the software. So, last year, we evaluated several replacement packages that stand to do everything C&P should have done, plus so much more. We signed up for Creative Manager and have been in the throes of deployment since about September.

We knew we were taking on a big project as we set out to integrate all our traffic, estimating, and accounting functions under one mouse. The end of the year was as crazy as we knew it would be, and despite our best intentions, the months began slipping by. Our intended launch dates continued to slip.

I have taken the lead on the implementation. Not because I'm a control freak, or no one else is capable of doing it, but because I truly understand and LIKE this stuff. This is the biggest housecleaning I've ever undertaken and I truly enjoy it. To accelerate the process and, in particular, to help with the setup of the accounting features, we actually hired a consultant from Phoenix to fly out for the week and help us cross the finish line. She starts tomorrow morning. She ain't cheap, but we've long since acknowledged that this software potentially represents the most important investment we've made in the business in years...if not ever. For the first time, we'll have one view of all production and billing AND total visibility into profitability. Clearly, these are the harbingers of success as we take the agency to the next level.

So, I apologize for my neglect of JabberDrew et al. I have not been wasting my time. In fact, I've been working on the software all day. If you've ever worked with project management software, you'll understand that my mind is swimming with visions of timelines and predecessor tasks right now. Even now, I find myself imagining the seven milestones necessary just to get to bed.

The first was writing this entry to let you know what's up. If we use this software to its fullest potential, I may not have this decade-long conflict for free time much longer.

Guitar Herocinations

It's a fact that if you play Guitar Hero for three hours straight, transfixed on the shiny candy buttons flowing down varicolored fret boards until two in the morning, that when you look away from the television...the room actually breathes.

Give it a try.

Editorial indiscretion

Skimming FoxNews at lunch today, as usual, I happened across a story. A mildly intriguing story, but much more noteworthy, in my opinion, for a few ill-advised and oddly-phrased passages.

In discussing the sentencing of an Air Force officer found guilty of raping four men (and of attempting to rape two more), I thought it was a notable error in stating the charges:

"Taylor was charged with two counts of attempted sodomy, four counts of forcible sodomy, two counts of kidnapping and one count of unlawful entry."

As I see the math, aside from the kidnapping, that's actually seven counts of unlawful entry. That kind of oversight has "appeal" written all over it.

The stranger recap included this:

"I am pleased. I am emotional, but I am very, very pleased," said Maj. Kathleen Reder, a military prosecutor.

"These men can sit up a little straighter now, I am proud of them," she said of the six victims who testified."

Personally, I'm kind of disturbed contemplating the image of these raped guys "sitting a little straighter." I don't want to visualize them sitting at all. Plus, considering one of the victims was gay, I'm guessing he's not sitting all that straight. Unless he was scared straight, I suppose.